36 Songs, 36 Days (2012 Edition), Day Fourteen: Toxic by Yael Naim

Not all things go better with a ukulele...

Yes, that 'Toxic.'

This is a live cover version of Britney Spears' Theme Song For A Bond Movie That Doesn't Exist done by the French Isreali singer perhaps best known for those MacBook Air commercials some time back. Naim's instrument of choice is the ukulele, although I admit that I can barely discern it here in this mix.

And it is...odd, and not in a good way.

Britney Spears is not exactly what you call an insightful lyricist--let's be honest, she's five degrees of braindead, her music being carried (like pretty much all 'pop' music these days) by its dance beat. And in the case of this single, Spears layered in a bit of hipster nostalgia by giving in to her inner Bond Girl and adding fills and instrumentation that evokes memories of vintage 60's spy culture. It's probably that later aspect that makes the original work for me, that attempt to evoke a period other than the here-and-now in what was up until that point an ephemeral musical catalog. Without that weird attempt to connect this fluffy little dance number with another musical period, 'Toxic' would be as forgotten like eighty percent of Spears' material.

What Naim has chosen to do is discard that aspect entirely. Her arrangement slows down the melody to such an extent that it takes on a dirge-like quality. This isn't the sprint through Spy-World of Spears' version; this is a slow march through an alien swamp, and that methodical plodding kills the kinetic forward momentum pretty much all of Spears' songs have. Naim tries to provide some form of fill by duplicating the swooping Bernard Herrmann-esque strings with her own voice, but the effect doesn't approximate the effect on the original. It's quite the opposite, in fact; it serves to push the listener away, as if this is some future Bad Girlfriend cornering you at a party trying to impress you with her many versatile, ummmm, talents.

Many times on this site I've talked about the hazards of alt acts covering hip hop songs in an 'ironic' way. I don't know if Naim is attempting this--certainly the cat noises at the end followed by laughter indicate it is, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt--but it really doesn't work. This cover represents the flip side of my contention that a cover needs to rejigger the original in some way as to give you a new perspective on said original. Naim has moved this song so far afield that it's damn near unrecognizable, and is forced to stand on its own...and on its own, the strange artifice and conscious quirkiness just doesn't work.

Here is Ms. Naim performing this cover for French television....

　

　

Cover-versies: 'Hackensack' by Katy Perry

As you know, elsewhere on this blog I'm discussing one of my favorite bands, Fountains of Wayne, by discussing how I grew to love them item by item. I'm about to discuss the second FoW song I ever really grooved on...but before I do, it occurred to me that there's a Cover-versies attached to that song I wanted to write on.

The song in question is "Hackensack," a rather sad song that appeared on The Fountains' third album Welcome Interstate Managers. I'll be discussing this little three minute gem in the second segment of Me And...The Fountains of Wayne a little later, but here's a video of Adam and co. performing it so we can set up the compare and contrast....

So last year, Katy Perry decided to cover this song on an episode of MTV Unplugged. Here is her take on it...

.....

I hate this version.

No, really. I can't fucking stand this version.

And it's not just because I can't stand Ms. Perry as a whole, one of those idiots who seem to feel that it's okay to be unbearably cruel to people under the guise of 'keeping it real.' I honestly feel that Ms. Perry gets a pass frequently because she is, to quote my partner on BiTD 'Zoe Deschanel's Head On A Porn Star's Body' (I don't see this comparison, but so many people do I will let it stand). But this is a person who calculatedly took a page out of Scott Stapp's playbook and started her career as a 'Christian Contemporary' artist so she could grab a sizable, gullible fanbase; whose first single was a half-assed, atrocious tune that she was able to bull onto the Top 40 charts because of some ham-fisted 'controversy' ("Hey, she's hawt...and she's talking about being a lesbian!"); who said with a straight face that her so-fluffy it'll float away single 'California Gurls' was an answer song to Jay-Z's love letter to New York, 'Empire State of Mind' (so your answer to 'I love my hometown' is...'oh, yeah, well we're hawt?'); and whose newer singles are built around metaphors and imagery so torturous that in other circumstances they'd be considered out-and-out parodies.

And the thing is...I almost find her more detestable because you get the sense, unlike with (Am I A) Lady Gaga, that she might actually have some sort of songwriting talent. But she's so aggressively stupid and lazy in expressing that talent that I just want to pummel her.

(And let me just say that as far as I'm concerned, Perry and that mean-spirited grotesque Russell Brand deserve each other...and I don't mean that in a positive way.)

However, a lot of people who would tear her apart overlook her lack of artistry and her clumsy bids to be a STAH overlook at it because...well, she's 'hawt.' Don't take my word for it--just wander through the intrawebs and see all the comments about her. Not a lot of comments about her songwriting, is there?

Anyway, this cover....she takes a subtle, borderline creepy song about a sad man escaping from the misery of his life by fantasizing (and maybe even planning to stalk) a classmate who has achieved fame as an actress and butchers it. The simply fact that she opens up the orchestration destroys the sense that the original is an interior monologue from the singer late at night as he watches one of his obsession's movies. And check out that awful vocalization--the way she seems to swallow the last syllable of each line drives me up the wall. It's so mannered that, once again, you have to wonder if in a parallel universe this is a parody of a Fountains of Wayne song. On some level, even though Perry is affecting a 'sad puppy with cancer' voice, the song sounds...brighter, less desperate.

Quite frankly, given Ms. Perry clumsy career choices, I know exactly what this is supposed to be...this is the mainstream Top 40 pop stah trying to get a little 'sensitive artist' cred by covering a non-single track by a band known for being a little cerebral, a little culty. I give her credit for going with FoW as opposed to other, rather more obvious choices--I shudder at the version of 'Landed' or 'Brick' or 'Hallelujah' we could've gotten. But this is another bald-faced attempt to win over a few people she hasn't impressed yet by acting all 'quirky' and showing that yes, she likes lesser known artists, too.

Of course, it occurs to me that if she chose 'Brick' or 'Suzanne' or any of a number of better-known culty songs, she couldn't count on the oblivious segment of her fanbase insisting that 'Hackensack' is her song that she wrote and performed herself--thus giving her more cred for being a 'deep and sensitive artist.' And the fact that I know deep down inside that this move worked with more people than I care to imagine.

Fuck you, Katy Perry, and fuck this cover.

　

I've complained more than once about alternative artists doing 'ironic' slow jam covers of hip-hop singles to give them some hipster street cred. This cover is cut from the same cloth--an artist playing at being real bo-ho and smart by aping a great song in a way that is designed to glorify how bo-ho and smart the singer is.

Yeah, I can take some solace in knowing that once her looks start fading, Katy Perry will disappear into the reality TV hosting limbo she belongs, while The Fountains of Wayne will endure long after. But it's little solace. For now, all I can do is grit my teeth and put on Traffic And Weather in an effort to drown her caterwauling out.

30 Songs, 30 Days (2009 Edition), Day Seven: Moon River by Bell

It's exactly what you think it is--a cover of the old standard by a modern artist, in this case a group calling itself Bell.

It's...well, it's not very good. A Casio-like synth track, some unimaginative vocals and voila'...nothing much to go on. Now don't get me wrong--I like cover songs enough that more will prolly pop up before we reach the end of this journey. But this song represents the worst kind of cover, namely one that simply repeats the original without any sort of attempt at being original.

And this kind of cover is the standard...it's one of the reasons I truly feel that there should be certain songs that should be banned forever from the songbooks of aspiring and struggling artists ("You Really Got Me?" Get out of here! "The Boys Are Back In Town?" Well, get back outta town before I kick you out. Pretty much 80% of the Beatles back catalogue? Your services are no longer needed...). These days a lot of artists think a by-the-numbers cover is just the thing to either jumpstart a career or rejuvenate it (and I'm looking straight at you, No Doubt...your money or your life, indeed). One of the reasons I was so disatisfied with Everclear's last album, The Hollywood Years, was that it was nothing but a collection of covers of the usual suspects done with an astoundingly lack of imagination from an artist I had learned to expect better of.

My favorite covers are those that find a way to rejigger the song in such a way that you look at it in a different light. One of the reasons William Shatner's version of "Common People" works so well is that Shatner's talk-singing brings out the mercenary side of the POV character, while contrasting him with the extremely emotional Joe Jackson almost sets up an inner dialogue between the outer face of our hero and the loathing he's holding inside. Ben Folds' version of "Niggers Ain't Shit" emphasizes the ridiculousness of Snoop Dogg's original by resetting it in such a harmless way (that Folds' version, along with Nina Simon's version of "Straight Outta Compton," ushered in a whole slew of soft-alt renditions of hardcore rap covers that totally missed the point is besides the point...) Hell, the collaboration between Matthew Sweet and Suzanna Hoffs (which thankfully is about to see the release of the second volume) works because the duo makes the connection between 60's cheese and modern pop.

sorry...got out of hand....

So what I'm saying is...if you're going to start making a cover, be sure you have something to say beyond just 'I like this song.'

I don't think this is connected at all, but here's a guy named Bell singing 'Moon River'....